Sunday, April 13, 2014

Dinosaur Island (1994)

How bad is it? It's one of the worst cavewoman movies (and that's saying something)
Should you see it? If you miss Cinemax in the 1990's.

I've seen more than 100 cavewomen movies (hey, someone has to) and all of them could reasonably be called bad movies, so why does this one make my list when "Dinosaur Babes" with its spaceship shooting lasers at T. Rexes and "Dinosaur Valley Girls" with its, well, Valley Girls, don't? This one was produced by Roger Corman, who let them use is dinosaur from "Carnosaur" and directed by Fred Olen Ray (see my review of "Cyclone") and Jim Wynorski (see my review of "Deathstalker II"). This was made for late night Cinemax, so it has just enough plot to hold together scenes of topless women. Soldiers headed to court martial have a plane crash and end up on an island that has only women and dinosaurs. One dinosaur is a sock puppet, others are fiberglass, others are added in post-production - a pterodactyl can't be caught because the net won't hit a creature to be added later! There's endless bad jokes, a few which work, a lot of adolescent sex scenes and dinosaurs that are impervious to bullets but can be scared off with shaking a spear or two. The "great one" of dinosaurs is killed anticlimactically with a grenade.

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