Sunday, April 12, 2015

Cruel Jaws (1995)

aka Jaws 5: Cruel Jaws

How bad is it? It's in the running for worst shark film.
Should you see it? Yes, especially if you've seen Jaws 3D and Jaws the Revenge.


I really didn't think the Jaws franchise could sink lower than Jaws: The Revenge, which made no sense, but someone hired Bruno Mattei to direct and this film has no shark in it! The shark footage is entirely lifted from other films and the shark changes size and type (it's a dolphin at one point!) and it looks like it was filmed decades before being released, with scenes tinted blue to make them day-for-night. The plot has a navy-bred shark and a greedy land developer and the mafia; it has a Hulk Hogan look-alike, a paralyzed girl who kicks her legs when she swims, guys who manage to kill everything (themselves included), except the shark, by lighting gasoline with signal flares and it has jaw-dropping theft from other films. You can hear lifted John Williams music. There's even the line "We're going to need a bigger helicopter!"

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